when was the last time you praised somebody.? when was the last time somebody praised you.? is it a big mission to you for once to put your smelly fagged mouth to good use and praise somebody.? 

they say i think too much and deep into things, so much so that i tend to alter the situation and manipulate it wayward - the members of the misunderstanding and unhappiness arise. i don't care if you decide to close this browser right now or half way through it, or finish reading it and "oh okay," and move on as per normal. i really don't care. i won't try to deny - this is will be an emotional one. but this was designed with the mind of the crestfallen man who's had his fill of accumulating too much tolerance. 

ONE, my group leader decided to tell me off in the most demanding of tones because i failed to complete my work. 4 long questions in total, 6 group members. being the most experienced one, i made an arrangement and assigned 4 of my 6 group members to complete 2 questions (that's 2 person per question). the first question was an easy 200 word concept write up which at most, needed only some form of rephrasing skills. i assigned this task to the laziest member of our group. i thought that i could juggle question 2 on my own. this assignment is due come monday. the first thing my group leader demanded of me was my share of work. here goes my fight - i explained that the particular group member who was supposed to do question 1 didn't email as promised his share of work, and that i was working on it. he asked about my supposed share of work for question 2. i kept quiet, surprised at his very demanding tone, which didn't match very well with his almost menace posture. my group leader finally shouted at me, as if the rest of the class in my studio needed to know, that i didn't complete my work. here goes my fight - Hi Sire, for your info, you were tasked to complete 1 question along with another group member. 1 question 2 persons. i would like to hereby humbly remind you that i'm working on 2 questions, and alone because the notorious lazy group member of ours decide to have 1 week's of mc on learning that he needed more time on primer 2. 

i'm so proud and egoistical that i'll say this - you guys ought to suck my balls for 7 straight months for scoring your very first A+ in the pursue of attaining a diploma. get that.?! not get back at me each time you get to harp on my mistakes, my failure, my everything-that's-bad. i will be most interested in looking at your elevation and section drawings of primer 1. 

have you ever been insulted.? have you ever been insulted so badly you lose that bounce in you to get back at that person.? have you ever been insulted so badly that you lose that bounce in you to get back at that person, and that person happens to be a man you've deemed best friend for a very long time.? i will tell you this - it sucks, and it sucks real bad.

here goes my fight - hello you, i remembered creating riverbelow for the purpose of reminding myself in years to come the good and bad times, and nothing of being the most famous local blogger. i don't write for a living, and i don't intend to. i open up my white coloured laptop and log on to riverbelow each time i need to boast of something, complain about something, or just plain describing that wonderful or horrendous day that i had. is this reason sufficient enough to put a stop to any judgements from you.? don't say that entry was rubbish, don't you ever say that.

my best friend wants to top me in everything that i do, and so badly that he caves into self-denial most of the time. i want to top another best friend of mine too, sometimes so badly that i got shot down and fall hard. so how do we resolve this.? should i step down already and look on admirably.? should i advise the other one to step down already and look at me in admiration.? 

do you, at times, feel this crazy tinge of loneliness right at the most deserted corner of your heart.? no.? i'm overreacting.? i don't think so, cos i did, just 2 hours ago and at the expense of my best friend and my girlfriend.

for the last 2 days, i found myself succumbing to each of the requests 3 beautiful ladies proposed to me. one asked for a write up of a brief description of a competition she wishes to hold, another asked for my expertise in photoshopping with a layout she needs for a school project, and the other wanted to borrow my bus card for a friend who's not yet of legal age to enter a club. i don't know about this one, but is it right of me to say that i'm being quite well-used here.? i genuinely doubt any form of thanksgiving when i am done bequeathing my assistance.

my dad loves using the phrase 'jack of all trades, master of none' on his youngest son. am i your typical guy-friend next door.? i doubt i am. i have this thing for caps stylizing words like unity and anything that links up with the word crew; i once loved fishing because i thought it was a suitable activity for my friends and i to hang out together; i had this crave for bearbricks and toys but has since died down for a very long time, though it comes back to haunt me at times; if you omit my stamina-ability in your consideration, i think i make quite an average soccer player; i picked up the art of striking a white ball with a long wooden stick when i was 15 years old and am still into it; i am having this mild fixation on checkered shirts and loose-hanging chinos; i don't mind turning my next few months of supposedly good life into a tedious one just for that lovely bag that caught my eye; i love looking through the eyepiece of gerald's canon eos 400D and snapping shots for keepsake; i like to add on textures and build on contrasts and levels of each of my photo using special softwares and i can keep at it for 8 hours straight; i don't mind putting on a pink watch instead of a steel metal one when i have presentations; i secure my polka-dotted wallet with a karabina instead of sliding it into my back pocket everytime i go out; i just don't have that much of a thing for loud rnb music blasting and roaring for the crowd to shake it all out on the dancefloor. but that's about it. so, i question again, am i your typical guy-friend next door.?

the first time i told my mom that my photo was used in a malaysian magazine, she questioned, "got money take.?" i told her no and tried to explain the concept of building up one's portfolio but was cut off rudely by her thinking that 'then it's useless if no money's involved.' Hi Mom, please don't shrug me off like that.? 

is giving me the thumbs up and the sweetest of smiles that hard to accomplish.? is it a big mission to you for once to put your smelly fagged mouth to good use and praise somebody.? 

i was walking home, passed some traffic lights and bus stops, before stepping on a stone pavement slightly inclined leading up to my place. then i thought, who am i, where am i, what am i.? haven't i done enough to make a name for myself already.? haven't i helped you guys enough to deserve some form of reward.? haven't i impressed you guys in at the very least, one of the please-pick-one list of things mentioned above.? no.? 

funny and timely how i designed my primer 2's concept of alternating the degree of transparency from opaque and gradually transiting to a climatic bare openess. turning transparent to the eyes of the world.

then i don't know what else i can do already.

here goes my final fight - today, Joey is probably the most unappreciated man in the whole wide world.