I've known you for so long - that familiar arm around the shoulder, that good make-use of forever messenger conversations, that cursive yet neat handwriting inked in letter exchanges, that consoling advising voice, that really hothotheat-mail stating 'if you were right here beside me, I'd have given you a tight and warm hug and a pat on the head', that out-of-your-world standup against a figure we ought to show some love and respect to when i'm being maligned, that everything-we've-been-through... All in all, that girl. You. That girl.

Here goes my embarrassing tell-tale, my loving account - you reappeared and broke that obnoxious steel heart where egoistical bad blood flows within with your smile. You showed and taught me how to care for somebody right. You sat under the sun almost faithfully on saturdays, watching how a ball chase a ball, how a ball kick a ball, and how a ball trip over a ball. You held my fat hands, looked into my eyes and told me that you love me. You wipe my sweat off my forehead each time I meet the blistering sun of Mother Earth (or not necessarily) which leads me to think of my friends whom I deemed close, each time they shun away when they get too close because suddenly, they're afraid of liquid substances from the body (maybe just a little pinch of salt... And oil-what-ever). You smile and say you're proud of me whenever I blabber on about the big future dream, instead of shooting me down by saying 'stfu you fucking repeat student.' like how the best friends might. You sat beside me into the wee hours of a weekday night and stare at some 2D lines, put the creative mind to some work, and imagine as interestingly as possible how 4 walls can be erected to form a space within. You did what most people wouldn't, because you're Lynette. Lynette Kwan Siew Fang.

On the 13th of July, your friends wished you a happy 18 years of life in this world. On the 13th of july, I wished you a happy birthday. On the 13th of July, I was the mastermind of one of the birthday surprises installed for you. On the 13th of July, we found a candle-lit strawberry and vanilla cake sitting atop the platform of your condo's playground. On the 13th of july, I told you how much I really love you. On the 13th of july, I told you how much I wanted you. 

... ...And on the 13th of July, I finally made you mine. Because you're Lynette. Lynette Kwan Siew Fang. My Lynette Kwan Siew Fang. 

P/S: times escape x smu nights festival sounded 78 times sweeter because asyraf said something like, "this song goes out to joey if you're out there." oh god... (Y) gerald koh. very superpower set, my heart most probably broke the ribcage with each bass daniaal kicked. thank god for the impenetrable thick lard of skin for securing the heart.