IF YOU THINK YOU WILL FEEL OFFENDED, OR FEEL OFFENDED AT ANY POINT OF TIME, GET LOSE AND HATE AND DEAD TAGS WON'T MAKE YOU AS COOL AS ME! SO LEAVE, RIGHT NOW!

somedays, life is just sweet and pretty with all the beautiful things like football, instruments, swimming pools, billiard parlours, computer games and so on; yet somedays, it is but a time length burning down rapidly, awaiting the final brutal ending.

because normal beings are just too worried about how and when this final ending will come, they seek consolatory endlessly, even if it is not meant to be proven. sometimes, these worries affect a man with a greater magnitude, and so he believes it is necessary to seek more faith in religions. with time to come, his faith grows unknowingly and pretentiously, not knowing that it will lead him to more commitments and more trouble, i should say. all of these will generate the will to protect his personal religion, thus the sensitivity of religious issues all around the world. even in the midst of protecting one's own religion, they use profanities openly and limitlessly, just like how the 4 letter word is compulsory in every sentence for many presently. then one very fine day, everything will crash down so quickly, taking his determination to live on and all his career or studies commitments along with it, when he loses his loved one.

this afternoon, my friend told me, "you know A's father passed away?" my reaction changed instantaneously into one with shock and surprisingly, anger. initially, i didn't understand why there was anger during that moment, but when i finally had time to process everything through, i realise i was angry at the heavenly people up there (if they actually existed).

on a certain weekend, i was given a survey form by a newtowner in town, questioning me about how i visualise god's values and his doings, how he works things, why are humans classified as bad, and many more. but the last question of the survey form struck me really hard.

one day, if you see god, what will be the first thing you will say to him?

although it had me thinking hard, my answer was very firm and i wrote it out within seconds. my answer was simple yet comprehendable - why did he put so many setbacks in our lives for us to suffer? and if you don't understand the meaning of 'setbacks', it means all the really negative stuff we shouldn't be getting such as the minors ones like getting straight F9s for some of the subjects, and the more serious ones like losing your father. getting straight F9s for certain subjects is something explanatory-possible - lack of practice, not understanding the topics tested - but the latter? nobody in this world can tell me one reasonable and logical reason for god to take away somebody's father, let alone A's father!

although i am not exactly very close to her, the first impression she gave me was that she is an extremely softspoken girl, hardworking, do the correct things and the correct things only, and will probably make a very sweet girlfriend. tell me, is it reasonable for god to take away the most important person in her life away from her, and so suddenly? even the most notorious girl in this universe shouldn't be deprived of having a caring father, let alone this sweet and innocent girl!

you know, with each letter i smack on my keyboard, my anger gets more inbearable and more intolerable. i must have looked silly when i raise both of my hands up in the air everytime a christian hymn is played during service. according to the christians, the significance of this action is a gesture to god that you are surrendering your life to him. but please, god doesn't want your life, he wants to take the people you love around you slowly by slowly, before takings yours! and those church-goers who jump aimlessly when an upbeat song is played, but act solemn when a slow and emotional song is filling the congregation? those, are but a bunch of pretentious immature children. they do that because they don't want to look like the odd one out, and of course because, "my cell leaders ask me to do so." let me go on ranting about this love of god so many people are talking about.

god's inanity way of doing things is illogical and powerless. people brag about their god's power, that he is omnipotent, strong in all ways, and that nothing is impossible to him - all these are, like i've said earlier on, a form of console to his followers (not believers, but plainly and literally followers). there's a big difference between the 2 terms believer and follower, and i suggest you make clear what they both mean.

the tithes and offerings to be given weekly? they do it (at least in my previous church) by collecting money in blue and red velvet offering bags (tithes and offerings respectively), and it is noted in the bible that one should give 10% of what he gets weekly as tithes. after collecting the money in these bags, they gather all of them into a big luggage and lock it up. and you know how they give it to the god above? they take qantas airway and fly up all the way. no, they invite brock lesnar to throw the luggage up until it reaches the suitable altitude for god to catch. no, they put it into the for tithes and offerings only room and press the come get it now god button. no. STILL NO? they take these money and spend it on high quality instruments and gadgets, wide stages and high tech lightings, missionary trips and church's merchandises. it is saddening to see that the pure church i've once been to when i was young has manipulated into one whose system functions to con the money of these faithful followers.

and these are 3 factual scenarios which reflects the value a christian should have:
(1) once, when i was at cineleisure with carvey and friends queueing up at the movie ticket booth, i heard the guy in front of me said, "i going to church tomorrow, then later go jerome's house to gamble."

-.-

(2) then another went something like this -
guy A: you know what those people are to me anot? those people are nothing. those people's mouth lick my shoes ah!
guy B: okay, what were you doing last night?
guy A: i was at church.

-.-" (now got sweat come out already.)

(3) lastly, the best of all.
guy A: where you go last night?
girl B: DXO.
guy A: you can go in meh?
girl B: i borrowed id from my friends.
guy A: who you went with?
girl B: church friends.

-.-""""" (now sweating very profusely.)

swear, these are all factual sexy scenarios of what is it like being a christian. cigarettes and alcohol is a must for chrisitians, did you know?

back to A, i empathise with her greatly. can you imagine your dad being taken away one day out of the blue? that means no company when watching television, no outside sunday dinners, nobody to fetch you to and fro school, nobody to sign that consent form which requires the signature of both parents, no one to give you your allowances, pay for bills, because your mom doesn't work? sorry, but i can't.

this is getting more and more sick day by day, and one day, the little red dot in the drawn-ever-so-meticulously world map will be bombed by Moses who parted the red sea.

i had enough of ranting, and i'm exhausted because i just returned from A's house along with my group of friends. but i want to make a point here - that good things come coincidentally, and bad things come coincidentally too. god? you flip the letters around and you'll get dog. sorry, but i'm proud to be a good example of blasphemy.

and if you think leaving long messages on my very tiny tagboard will somehow, stop my backslide, you can forget about it. please, don't leave messages like, "god had his reasons. in john 3:16, he said, for god so loved the... ..." it won't, okay. i don't need anybody's comments - except for the people who are by my side!

till then, and goodbye.