this was what happened yesterday, in a quite rapid succession - i was down for ava duty during the morning assembly, had double mother tongue periods after that, cme, double geography, break, a physics test on sound, music lesson which was taught by a clown, and lastly, english lesson. almost immediately after my last period, i was in the bus, with my other fellow players, on our way to queenstown secondary school. on our way there, mr gary lim was discussing about the 2.4l stream with james koh. so, i interrupted. last night, he messaged my dad. but that is not important. this is what's important: some may call us idiots of the same group; some may call us fighters but losers; some may call us notorious gangsters; some settled for 'stupid smurfs' because of our uniform - but we newtowners, the chivalrous bunch of football players, the group of genuine tough men, showed the entire world that.... we are fucking indeed the earlier mentioned. we lost pathetically to gan eng seng, although we had two top-notch quality goals.

but that's not what i want to talk about this fine day. after which, we took the bus home headed for school. shahridan, my beloved, begged me to follow him to watch the ASEAN CUP first-leg final: Singapore Vs Thailand. i didn't want to, and i had my reasons. think about this - right after a game under the hot sun and humid weather, when you're all reeking of sweat and grass, you're feeling so tired and lethargic, your shoulders are heavy and you want a cold bath badly, and it's not as if you've accomplished something magnificent, and so to get yourself into such a state, your good friend whom you won't leave alone happily skips behind you, tap you, and say, "let's go watch singapore versus thailand." your most probable reaction definitely is to turn back, jab him in the stomach, knee his face, and give him a body slam. but the viceroy moni.. oops, but the vice monitor of E4/4 turned back, and agreed to follow a someone named shahridan. now, you don't tell me i'm not fit to be the monitor okay. i so holmie.

and so, i changed out my jersey, and put on the set of uniform i was wearing for the entire day. and then, shahridan felt guilty, and decided to pay for the cab all the way to the national stadium. NO.! i had to follow him to clementi and eat halal chicken rice with him.! after that, i had to wait for faris to come, which was a long wait although he was taking a cab down to clementi. i thought my day will be saved - somebody will willingly treat me to cab, seeing me in such a dreadful and beaten state. NO X2.! we took the train from clementi all the way to kallang stadium, and had to walk miles before we're finally settled down with the black parade group. before entering the stadium, we bought drinks at the stall, and shahridan said he wanted nasi lemak packed nicely in a plastic container. it was selling for $3 per packet. i paid for mine, and bloody hell, HIS TOO.! i think, i shouldn't just settle for monitor position. i'm going to kick mdm neo out of newtown and control you people. i'm writing a 30 page proposal to the government of MOE tomorrow, to be PRINCIPAL.

since it was a last minute decision, i didn't have my camera with me. the ball was kicked to the left, then later on switched to the right. after that, played down just outside the penalty box to nor alam shah, and then he later on passed to his colleague at the right. after that, the ball suddenly got out of hand and rolled to the half line. then somebody kicked the ball and it ended behind the bass line for a goal kick. the ball was sent up high and soaring, but was later on flicked on by a singaporean. then, i think if you're still reading this, you deserve to be a blonde.

during the 15 minutes break, i had my nasi lemak, and shahridan had my nasi lemak. basket case, never die before. then, we walked out to the entrance. i tell you, if you're a mere 3 year old kid with lungs smaller and thinner than my pink V3, you'll die once you step into that pit of smoke. the second hand smoke can be accumulated to create effects for at least 300 rock concerts if you want to save on dry ice.

then we return to our seats. suddenly, something happened, making history in the entire world of football. the score was 1-1. everybody in the stadium (including the cisco officers - don't bluff ah, turn back to watch the match right) was intense and on their feet. in the dying minutes of the game, the referee blew the whistle, signalling a penalty. from afar, i saw the thailand coach burst out of his seat in the bench and started waving non-stop. okay, so i thought he was waving in protest, but soon enough, all the thailand players were already gathered at the bench. the thais were leaving this place.! that 15 minutes delay was something everyone of you should pay $2 for. simply because you get to hear various vulgarities in different languages, fused together, mix-and-matched together, hurled at the thais. classic singaporean act. but nobody could blame the singaporeans - i wanted to take out my long magnum and kill the ugly coach. but i didn't. instead of standing up and swearing profusely like all my other friends were doing, i decided to sit down and think about why the thais were showing their cowardice so openly. and so, here goes:

(1) the sudden crave for tom yam soup was acting on each and every thai in the stadium.
(2) our singapore players didn't bow and say, "sa wa di ka," everytime they meet a thai on the field.
(3) they didn't like our field, because theirs are patched with lemon grass.
(4) we served ribena and isotonic drinks on the touchline instead of fresh coconut.
(5) our governments didn't treat them like how they treat the thai minister when they visit out country/was hiding from his nation.

there must be something wrong with them. either that, or they have already forgotten that this game consists of 2 legs. but i think i know why - the thai coach is so poor a peanut will last him a month, and their currency is so different from ours that 25cents will buy them a yatch over in thailand, that he is afraid of getting sued for making false statements. look at this -

click to enlarge:
and so, the holding midfielder on the Lions, no.15, my idol, converted the penalty perfectly at the top right hand corner. sweeeeeet stuff baby. before i sign off, and before you do, take note of these losers -
picture taken from channel newsasia official website.

disfigure them at sight. i repeat, disfigure them at sight.!