i've begin reading the book, extravagant worship by darlene zschech again becos it never fails to answer my questions. it's Hillsong worship team leader, darlene's, compilations of her testimonies and what God has done in her life. here's a bit of the book for whoever that dropped by in my blog.


"in may 2000, we were preparing to go on a three-week Hillsong worship tour through the USA. these tour are intense both spiritually and physically, but the miracles we see happen through them are incredible. i was twelve weeks pregnant with a child we had planned for and waited on for a very long time. three days before we were to leave, mark and i went to the obstetrician and found out that the baby had just died in my womb.
i was shattered and brokenhearted; the agony of that moment was indescribable. it was an awful and terrible loss. we had taken separate cars to the doctor, so i had to drive back to the house by myself with mark following me. i got in the car, and i just didn't know what to think or do. i felt the dept of my sadness would become too heavy to bear. then i heard the Holy Spirit whisper, "Sing."


in that moment it was the absolute last thing i wanted to do. sing.? i couldn't think of anything that i felt less like doing. but again i heard the Holy Spirit say, "Sing." so after years of learning, it is much better to obey quickly. i started to sing. my head didn't sing, and i do not even know if my heart sang, but my soul sang. it was almost involuntary. i sang two songs. the first song that i heard coming out of my mouth was the hymn, "then sings my soul, my Saviour God to thee, how great thou art...," which really surprised me, as this was a song we sang at my father's funeral. the lyrics are about putting the Word of God above anything we could be humanly facing and being triumphant in Him. the second song was one i had written years before called, "i will bless You, Lord." the chorus says, " how my soul cries out to You, O God, i will bless You, Lord." again, even though my thoughts were full of despair, the core of my being, my soul, was singing rather than intellect.


by the time igot home something had definitely transpired in the spiritual realm. i had spoken many times on the power of worshipping through a trial. i had done this myself in varying degrees, but never before had i experienced the power of God so sovereignly fulfilling His promise to "heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3) the sweet presence of our glorious Saviour placed me on the way to personal healing and victory.
i still had to go through the physical ramifications of losing a child, the operation, telling our girls, telling our church family, who had been so excited for us, and hours and hours of tears. but mark and i made the decision to continue with our plans and go on the worship tour. it was probably one of the hardest things i have ever done. but again, night after night, i found myself saturated in His presence as i led worship and not give the enemy any more ground that he had already taken. i continued in a daily decision to lift my eyes and praise Him with all i had. i found my healing in the arms of God, and even though grief still took its natural course, i found the truth of "Sing, oh, barren woman.." i will always treasure and thank God for the child i carried only twelve weeks."


i must also thank gerlet for lending this awesome book to me. by typing all these to what-seems-like-nobody, it serves as a driving factor for me to continue reading this book, and slowly unravel the unseen yet true powers of our Holy Father. this little passage found in page 57-59 of this book have touched me, by seeing the strong faith ms darlene has. as how darlene would described praise and worship as, praise is not just a "happy-clappy" song before the nice, slow ones, but a powerful expression of love and gratitude to the ONE AND ONLY. cheers, and i promise to share more passages, if there is any, to what-seems-like-nobody. (: